Cockney

So A'm stand'n n' ahtsoider vis frog bus when A sees vis young Froggy bloke, caw bloimey, A finks, 'f'at ain't ve most funniest look'n' geezer wot ever A claps eyes on. Bleed'n' great neck, jus' loike a tellyscope, strai' up i' was, an' ve titfer 'e go on 'is bonce, caw, A fought A'd 'a died. Six foot o' skin an' grief, A ses to meself, when awlver sud'n 'e starts to come ve ol' acid, an': "Gaw bloimey," 'e ses, "wot ver ber-leedin' ow yeh fink yeh adeouin' of?" 'E's tawkin to annuver bleed'n' fawrner vere on ve bus pla'form; ses 'e keeps a-treadin' on 'is plites awler toime, real narky 'e gets, till vis uvver Frog bloke turns roun' an ses, "'Ere," 'e ses, "oo yeh fink yeh git'n' a'? Garn," 'e ses, "A'll give yeh a pro'r mahrfful na minute," 'e ses, "gi ah a vit." So he does, pore bastard, 'e does a bunk real quick deahn ve bus wivaht anuvver word.

Cup lowers la'r, guess wo'? A sees ve fust young bleeder agin walkin' up'n deahn ahtsoider ve Garsn Lazzer, arkin' to anuvver young Froggy a-jorein' 'im abeaht a bleedin' bu'en.

Lauren RichardsComment